How to defeat imposter syndrome

SHAKING THE TREE #103

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

If you’ve ever experienced that nagging feeling of being a fraud despite having mountains of evidence to the contrary, you will be familiar with imposter syndrome.

This false prophet of productivity plagues even the most accomplished of individuals, robbing them of their confidence and undermining their belief in their abilities.

It hints at calamity. It whispers words of self-inflicted doubt, it hinders our progress and steals our well-deserved sense of achievement.

But none of it’s true. It’s all a lie. Here are some effective ways to silence the inner critic and reclaim your confidence:

Firstly, acknowledge and validate your feelings. This is a big one and the sooner you can do this, the better. Yes, those feelings are real, but they’re there to keep your ego in check and NOT to trip you up. Denying these feelings only gives them more power.

Recognize that imposter syndrome is a common experience, and that it’s not a reflection of your skills, talents, or abilities. Sharing your struggles of feeling like a fraud with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can be incredibly cathartic.

Trust me, dollars to doughnuts you’ll find you’re not alone in having these feelings of doubt and because you're not alone, know that other people’s support can be a powerful antidote to self-doubt.

Next, challenge your negative thoughts with solid, irrefutable facts. When that voice whispers "You suck! You’re here because you got lucky, or because you cheated!”, os some similar nonsense counter it with concrete evidence of your achievements.

Did you receive positive feedback? Recall it now and celebrate it.

Did you overcome a challenging project? Use it now to talk yourself onward.

Keep a record of your accomplishments, big or small, to serve as a reality check whenever imposter syndrome strikes.

Reframe your perspective and adjust your mindset on your failures and on your mistakes.

You’ve made them. You’ll make more.

Instead of seeing them as failures, look at them for what they are: opportunities to do better next time.

I’ve been fired and laid off. I’ve been drummed out of an Ivy League university.

Did these instances hurt at the time? Yes they did. Did I feel guilt and shame and fear? Yes I did. But as time has passed I’ve decided NOT to let them define or limit me because to do so is as pointless as it is destructive.

Everyone makes mistakes. At some point we all screw up royally. Failure is inevitable. However, what matters most, what defines us is how we learn and how we grow as a result of our mistakes. When mistakes happen, own them. Embrace a growth mindset and believe your abilities will develop as you progress. Embrace effort and perseverance and keep moving forward.

Finally, celebrate your successes (those of other people and your own), no matter how large or small. They are all waves of a rising tide. The more you cheer for other people, the more they are likely to cheer for you and at some point, their cheering for you might arrive at exactly the right time.

Remember: you’ve earned your accomplishments and you’ve worked for them: enjoy them and celebrate them. Reward yourself for reaching milestones, and don't wait for external validation to feel proud.

Imposter syndrome thrives in isolation. The more you think it’s only you, the worse the feeling becomes. By fostering self-compassion, by challenging your negative thoughts, and by celebrating everyone’s wins, you can silence the inner critic and step confidently into your well-deserved success.

You are not an imposter – you are capable and deserving.

As always, thanks for reading.

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P.S. Next time on Shaking the Tree … Why goals need a plan